A sad time but a life well lived

My Mom passed away on July 25th. She was in pretty good health except she did not control her diabetes very well. She lay down to read a book and passed peacefully. I was lucky to have spent the day before with her at her new home in Santa Rosa, CA where she had just moved to from Las Vegas three weeks before. I am happy that she did not have to spend her final days in a hospital. That was a great fear of hers. Below is the eulogy I gave at her service.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Eulogy for my mom, Jacqueline Jean “JJ” Campbell

October 1st 1930 – July 25th 2005

Today we gather to celebrate a wonderful life lived to the fullest. My mom touched so many lives and brought so much laughter. I learned from her that good work ethic and a sense of humor would gain you friends for life. She always had a special sense of humor and would have been tickled by the irony of passing while reading a book called ‘A Deadly Schedule’. She had always taught me to be punctual.

Let me try to touch on a few highlights from her wonderful life. She was born Oct 1st 1930 in Goodland Kansas during the depression. One of the highlights of her young life was her father taking Jacque to her first Opera in Chicago. Maybe the most cherished moment of her teen life was adopting her baby brother Jonnie. My mom adored her father, mother and baby brother Jon. She endured a great heartbreak when her father Jon, a train engineer, was tragically killed 2 days before Christmas when she was 17. She spoke of him often and I think her flair for Christmas decorating was a tribute to him. Here is what she wrote to all of her children about him a few years ago.

“57 years ago tomorrow, my wonderful father was killed in a train accident. He was such a joy, mainly because he was the "life of the party", could tell one joke after another & was always in demand. He had such a soft heart that he often gave waitresses money when they were down & once brought a pregnant one home for us to take care of until she gave birth. All the railroad men ate either in boarding houses or at cafes when they were on the road. He gave me such a wonderful childhood; I always wanted him to be proud of me & so I behaved quite well. He never layed a hand on me, instead offered praises and love. I loved him more than words can say. Christmas was never truly happy again until I had you children & then could pass on to you some of the teachings from him!" My Mom was a lot like her Father.

She went on to graduate from HS in Colorado Springs where She earned a letter and was voted to have the best lips and eyes that would tell you what she was thinking.She then went on to Seton School of Nursing at Loretto Heights College.

She was married to my father in 1950 and eventually moved from Colorado Springs to SLC in 1957. My mom had a beautiful soprano voice and was the star of many church pageants when we were kids and sang at many funerals. She wanted to try out for the Mormon Tabernacle Choir, but my father wouldn’t let her. I have no doubt she would have been selected.

As a mother of 5 in an abusive marriage she several times bravely packed up the children and fled to her mother’s in CO. One time, so tired from driving all night with all us kids sick in the car, she fell asleep and crashed us all into a gasoline truck.

In 1966 she escaped from the abusive husband and went to work to support all 5 of us at Continental Motors in Salt Lake.

She remarried and we moved from SLC to the cold of Muskegon, Michigan for 2 years where she sold yellow page advertising and then on to the warmth of Sunnyvale CA. Through the Manpower temp agency, she got a job at Ford Aerospace where she worked her way up from a secretary to a management position as a program controls analyst.

As luck would have it, husband number two turned out to be a louse and out the door he went. My Mom kept her chin up and began her newly independent life.

I think it was the most rewarding chapter.

In 1981 she earned an AA degree in Liberal Arts from DeAnza College and was recruited to work for Lockheed Missile and Space as a systems analyst. She held top security clearances at both companies despite having a delinquent son like I was at the time. She could not tell us exactly what she did or who the customer was. We found out later when she was invited
to Cape Canaveral during her retirement to watch the Milstar satellite launch. Turned out it was a government spy satellite program. During her time with both companies she lived abroad working on top secret listening installations in Hong Kong and in England twice.

She traveled the world for business and pleasure and She made lifelong friends in every place she went. She visited locales from the three gorges on the Yangtze River to the deserts of Morocco, from the shores of white sand beaches throughout the world to the Great Wall of China. She never
failed to send postcards to all her friends or return without another hilarious adventure. One story comes to mind of her with a suitcase in each hand and hurrying through an airport she managed to get herself, and her ample chest, stuck in an airport sliding door with ½ her assets on one side and ½ on the other until security freed her from her predicament. Later in the same trip, while rushing down the street to set up a presentation
for her bosses, she ran head first into an open lid of a dumpster and knocked herself out cold.

I most certainly inherited the klutz gene from my mom.

She so loved cooking and hosting gourmet dinner parties and her Christmas decorations are legendary.

After the quake of 89 almost destroyed her house and sent her fleeing into the street in her underwear she started on the path to retirement.

She began retirement in Ft. Myers, FL because she loved beautiful sand beaches.

She loved combing the surf for shells and shark’s teeth, volunteering as a candy striper, acting in plays, and especially her 49er’s themed golf cart. She had a great love of gardening. She amused her friends and neighbors by planting what she thought were modest garden plants that turned into a jungle in the Florida weather. Her friends were also most amused the night she locked herself out of her house and her friends helped push her through the garage window and almost dropped her when an armadillo ran over their feet. They screamed and let go, she screamed and dangled halfway through until they recovered and got her in.

What was her favorite part of retirement? Shopping! Boy did she love shopping. Like fishermen who love catch and release my mom loved shop and return. Since she, like most members of my family, lack the memory gene, she often bought items put them away for safe keeping forgot about them, bought them again, put them away and repeated the cycle. Believe me, we have come across at least 10 glue guns for her many art and craft projects ½ of which had not been opened yet.

3 years ago she decided to relocate to Las Vegas where a host of new adventures began. She loved watching CSI and went to see it filmed on location at a casino which inspired her to take up work as an extra in movies such as “Head of State” with Chris Rock,the Coen bros. film “Intolerable Cruelty’ with Catherine Zeta-Jones and George Clooney,
“The Loony Tunes Movie” with Brendan Frasier and a scene with her and the mayor of Las Vegas. All that star power and it was the free movie food she loved the most. I’ll never forget watching TV when the trailer for “Intolerable Cruelty’ came on and there was my mom walking across the screen in front of Catherine Zeta Jones. I instantly called her and shared her joy of the moment. I was so proud of her.

Las Vegas also brought her scorpions in the house, a flash flood in her yard
and a rare Vegas snowfall all of which she delighted in sending us pictures
of. Being of Scottish heritage she also found great joy in the penny and nickel slots as well as all the prizes she accumulated with her casino points.

It was in her last 6 months in Las Vegas that she made two dear friends
Marsha and Sam Lee whom my family and I are so grateful to for the help and incredible love they showed our mom. They took very good care of her and she of them. I will read a very moving tribute from Marsha in a moment.

I also want to thank my Uncle Jon for his love and support for his Sister Dear and helping ease her burden enabling her to enjoy her last years with far fewer worries.

I would now like to read the letter that her dear friend Marsha in Las Vegas sent Thursday.

REFLECTING ON OUR DEAR FRIEND JACQUE - Marsha and Sam

It is said that friends are the flowers in the garden of life!! Jacque surely was a flower in so many gardens around the world! She touched so many lives with her friendship. Unfortunately we did not get to know her for too long. We were locked into a depression like world, centering around recovery for my husband who suffered a stroke three years ago. Many of our golf friends had gone their golfing way and we seemed isolated from the outside world except for family afar. But last November Jacque entered our world by coming over to the mailbox to chat! There was something about her genuine kind gesture that warmed our hearts even way back then.

She walked into our lives at the most needed time. Like a flower, she was blooming where she was planted like she had done so often in her past! She awakened both of us to a life outside our house again. We started to share meals together, especially her gourmet desserts that were restricted on her diet but surely added pounds to us! We shared outings almost weekly and sometimes more often. Her love of fast food was not the best for her diabetes but we did indulge in burgers now and then, but she was quick to show me she was eating only half the bun!!

It was our pleasure to help her pack for her move to California. It started out with just helping her lift things in the garage but proceeded on to a wonderful experience including the two estate sales, the flea market and packing her many treasures inside the house. Both Sam and I were happy enjoying the time with Jacque. We would start packing early in the morning due to the extreme heat; it took longer some days when we would come across memories of NASA, her world travels or the family that is so extra special to her. She had a wonderful memory of the past!

Her humor, as you well know, highlighted our time together. She saw so much in life that others ignore. Coupons were a joy for her and she taught me that art as well. We went nowhere without a coupon in hand. The 8 jars of mustard and the 6 jars of Salsa from her cupboard she gave us were a result of the coupon addiction she had. I recall her comment as we found another jar of mayonnaise while packing; "Oh dear you will have to take this too, the kids will have a fit if I take all of these with me!" I think she had 5 different jars of mayo in storage!! I still smile when I look at all the mustard and the salsa. She loved plastic hangers too, she e-mailed after arriving in Santa Rosa that she had to go to Target to buy hangers!! We just laughed as she had given us too many.

Hallmark will miss Jacque too! She really had the knack for finding the most beautiful cards and taught me to care with a note even if distance is a factor. "A card goes a long way and can say so much, " she said! She was right! We cherish now the cards she already had sent from Santa Rosa!

It has been our honor to be in her life the past few months. The twinkle in her eye, the hugs she always gave my husband whenever she saw him, the careful added attention she was so keen to give his slow aphasic speech and the ever present smile even with severe back and hip pain will be our fondest memories!

Yes many people have crossed our paths in our medical careers and our move from Wisconsin but no one more dear than Jacque. She encompassed all the attributes that one desires in a lifelong friend! Her legacy and her genes will live on in her children and grandchildren all of whom she was extremely proud. "They have all worked so hard and done so well" she always told us with tears in her eyes so many times. She loved you all so much! We feel like we know her family too from the many stories she told us of both joys and sorrows as she raised her children.

What a remarkable life you have had Jacque.

Peace to you Jacque, your family and your many friends all of whom cherish their own unique memories on this day we take time to celebrate your life in this special way!

Thank you for being a significant part of our lives in Las Vegas. We are deeply indebted to you for so many things but especially for waking us up to a world outside the limitations of a stroke. You are in our hearts forever.

It has been a genuine pleasure sharing time in your life Jacque.

All our Love

Marsha and Sam

I miss my Mom’s laughter and mannerisms so much. My Mom taught me honesty, empathy, to respect others but not to take any crap, laugh when faced with crisis, how to be frugal the Scottish way, the value of free food, the adventure of travel, the horror of lost luggage, and the joy of a twisted sense of humor. She comforted me when girls broke my heart, she tried to teach me thank you notes, letters and postcards, something she excelled in but I could never match. I miss her so much and I will carry her tremendous spirit in my heart and my thoughts always, as I’m sure all of you will. Thank you so much for joining with my family and I in celebrating a life lived to it’s fullest.